Dynamics of the health process

Awareness issues

Essence of work

The relational context

Possible antecedents & relational bases

Relationships between the caregiver and their loved one may already have been conflicting or difficult in some respects. The loved one's physical or mental suffering may already have left its mark. These imprints have more or less healed well, taking a more or less conscious form of resentment. So the present relationship is not itself completely peaceful.

In addition, it is possible that the loved one does not even feel invincible in neutralizing his own fears, his own sufferings or even in the field of his relationship with food and his general feeling of control over himself.

The suffering of a loved one on the entourage

The variables of the present

The climate of tension around the variable pathology according to many parameters in particular

- depending on the condition of the loved one including the degree of involvement, the severity of the prognosis, the speed of advancement, the degree of neurological impairment and its mental repercussions, etc. the pressure will be variable.

- according to the state of the carer, including the intensity of the desire, his expectations, his investment and the possible physical and mental fatigue resulting from empathy, listening, help, etc.

The quantitative and qualitative addition of these parameters will lead to an increase in tensions in the relationship.

The caregiver may be in the grip of His desire that his loved one take care of himself, agitated by his inertia and the loved one will be hurt by the awkward interventionism of his companion.

The trio of suffering, anxiety, expectations

Your impatience is underpinned by the anxiety that he cannot understand, adhere to and control himself in order to adopt a healthy and beneficent diet ("sustainable eating"). The anxiety is fueled by the pain of having your loved one suffer or fall seriously ill.

The vicious cycle of suffering

Emerging Fears Faced with the Need to Change for Healthy Eating

The keys to support

Awareness

Accompanying a loved one to adopt a healthy diet requires prior personal work involving the analytical understanding of:

- his real or anticipated suffering (linked to an unhealthy diet and its consequences on the body, the brain and the psyche, etc.)

- his anxieties (see figure 7)

- our sufferings (see figure 4)

- our anxieties (linked to the previous categories and starting with the fear of not being able to help or support the loved one and their suffering if their condition continues or worsens. See section on the relational context)

The virtuous circle of healing

The correctness of the companion

The preliminary steps to take to support a loved one are as follows:

1. Measure personal issues in the role of support

The awareness of the psychic space in oneself occupied by the suffering of the loved one. To wonder if the place of the companion could not represent a source of immense satisfaction & peace brought by the relief of the one we love. Ask yourself whether knowing a loved one in pain or suffering would be a conscious or subconscious source of deep pain. According to some psychologists, in the pyramid of human needs stands that of the wish for peace for loved ones (see in particular the positive psychology of Martin Seligman, principle of Shraman Jain & Buddhist philosophies, Vedanist principles)

Ex: even while isolating oneself on a deserted island with hot sand, with the turquoise and translucent lagoon, the memory of a loved one who suffers can transform paradise into hell.

2. Assess your needs and your own resilience

This stage conditions the duration of the initiative to investigate deeply to assess and re-evaluate the availability of realistic material, physical and mental space for the role of accompanist. Evaluate the appropriateness of the investment in the assessment of your comfort zone, including:

→ time measurement

→ measurement of the demarcation of living spaces

→ choice of type of actions (physical, verbal or mental)

Make sure you stay aligned in your work of balancing your own ideal aspirations, personal desires and needs. This step is essential to keep your strength and not be negatively affected by each other's ills.

Ex: give to others while remaining indulgent with yourself for yourself. Know how to escape to find yourself

3. Keep a cool head

Neutralization of value judgments and the ego that claims we would do better for others ("I couldn't have done better, I could have done worse"). Each being is the fruit of so many things, building on so many extrinsic events.

The inequality of privileges manifests itself in the disparity in:

. Access to accurate knowledge (in the area of values, maintenance of physical or mental health, etc.)

. The environment & healthy psychic factors conducive to the development of will, strength, coherence, mastery, ethics, etc. such as exemplarity, moral, societal or family support.

. The environment & healthy material factors favoring physical, endocrine, neurological health.

4. Humility & discernment

A suffering person retains its full value and being a carer also represents an opportunity to learn from him. The role of support is in no way a superiority but a complementarity.

The wisest companion is reached by the feeling of gratitude for the person who offers to be helped.

Understand how motors work to overcome suffering

Confidence is the key to successful healing. The dynamics of self-esteem and confidence are the driving force behind willpower and drive. Guilt, lack of self-confidence and skepticism are the weights of inertia. The fear of not being cured lies in the shadows of the suffering beings, always ready to leap and before devouring them, it petrifies them with terror, making them powerless at the slightest progress. These predators are so pernicious that they seek every opportunity to contaminate the companions themselves

Thus accompanying him, strength of this knowledge must invariably take care to neutralize and prevent anxieties for fear of failure:

- value all the little 'successes' as minimal as they are (like taking only 9 and 1/2 squares of chocolate instead of 10). The flattery and the compliment of a being on the way of the sanitation of his lifestyle are a just reward and a sweet compensation for his efforts.

- comfort the days without victory which must be experienced as the break times necessary for the gradual rise of mastery.

- reassuring that new habits and pleasures will take hold (see next articles on dopamine re-education)

- learn to set small, easy-to-reach objectives, do not project any final objective while living from day to day and do not project your own expectations yourself.

- entertain his attention on all various types of pleasures.

- remember that love overcomes all obstacles and that the more it is shared, the more it grows.